Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Where Things Went Sour (Blogger Run-In Part 2)

(NOTE: Italicized text in this post is written by D2. The bold...nothing more needs said)

The problem that often comes with being a Gemini is that there is a tendency to have two very different and distinct personalities. These personalities, for the most part, tend to coexist and get along in a mutual goal of survival. One takes over in a situation where a certain kind of...tact and skill is required and the other is forced to take a backseat until they are needed.

I get along with D2...for the most part, until he turns into a whiny little bitch who wants to just...get along and be friends with every god damn body like a little fucking puppy or something. I, on the other hand, prefer to face off with some prettyboys with the aim of busting them up.

And I prefer to step in when he needs to extricate himself from a sticky situation...which is what I'm doing now.

The hell you are!

The hell I am.

Aside from the salivating and gnashing of teeth Drake exhibited from the news that everyone's favorite wrestling blogger, Bard, was in town, I was excited. I would finally get to meet the man that both Drake and I had had many conversations with in the past two years on topics both wrestling and non-wrestling related (I'm a multifaceted individual).

Maybe it's just because of my stint in the service-industry  or the fact that I'm a good ol' humble midwestern boy but I love hosting people. I love making them feel at ease and will go out of my way to make sure that they enjoy themselves and get to see and experience something unique to my home.
If there's one thing I hate doing, it's falling short of someone's expectations. So, getting to meet "the man behind the abs" was at first a little intimidating. I wanted to live up to everything Drake had pumped us up to be in our written discourse. So, while all Drake wanted to do was take the ridiculously cute blogger to the arena and drag his ass all over the ring, I wanted to take him to experience the sites and sounds of BG East-South (eat your heart out, Kimye).

I took him to the house where so many of the sun room mat battles had taken place and where the meticulously assorted gear cache is kept. (Side note: I often imagine Ty sneaking into the gear room and spreading it all out and diving into it like Scrooge McDuck in the opening of Duck Tales. There's a lot of fucking gear.) We visited the pool where, not too long prior, the BG Brat Pack (Kayden, Skrapper, Trey, Ty, Mason, and Drake) put on the hottest Wet N' Wild match to date. I gave him a tour of the grounds where so many of our beautiful outdoor portraits are taken...It's not only a wrestling paradise, It's a little slice of paradise by all definitions.

I also treated Bard to breakfast at a nearby restaurant that have fueled the wrestlers for the grueling shoot days where they're slated to face numerous challengers both local and away. We also visited a laid-back bar that has been the site of some off-screen BG hijinks involving ridiculously rock-bottom priced Long Island Iced Teas.

That's where he slipped me the roofie.

Well, I can't attest to that. We finished our drinks which, like at breakfast, I picked up the tab, determined to make this an amazing experience and introduction to BG's south campus for my favorite blogger. After showing him the ring and mat rooms, we sat down in the lobby to talk and shoot the shit some more about everything, like normal, which he graciously agreed to not share the intimate behind-the-scenes "dish" on Neverland.

At this point, Drake was
(and currently IS!) getting antsy wh-

DAMN RIGHT I'M GETTING ANTSY! We were at the fucking arena! We were a hair's breadth away from both the mats and the ring. I don't give a fuck how many goddamn pictures he wanted to take and how many little mental wank fantasies he wanted to live out. We were at the arena and I wanted to fight.

So after, I began to worm my way back into the day's activities I decided to take over and cut the shit and call this stupid-cute blogger out...

"So all that talk about us wrestling...was that just talk or are we actually going to wrestle?"

To be continued



  1. Love to see you wrestle again!
    Found you on HBWL and was very sad when it vanished.
    What happened to it?

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  3. Who do I have to tie up in the ring ropes to get to read part 3 of this desperate attempt to rationalize your utter humiliation?